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Never Split The Difference Mind Map
This is a Never Split The Difference Mind Map. This Mind Map is a complete reading note of Never Split The Difference. Everything we've learned about negotiation up to this point has been incorrect: you are not logical; there is no such thing as 'fair;' compromising is the worst thing you can do; the true art of negotiating is mastering the complexities of No, not Yes. These startling tactics—which significantly differ from traditional bargaining strategy—weren't developed in a classroom, but are field-tested strategies FBI agents have used to persuade criminals and hostage-takers throughout the world into (or out of) just about every scenario you can think of. Former FBI senior international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss and co-author Tahl Raz break down these methods in NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE so that anyone may use them at work, in business, or at home. In EdrawMind community, you can get more templates related to reading notes or other topics in study, work and life.
Edited at 2022-05-30 12:59:29- Recommended to you
- Outline
HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DO THAT?
BECAUSE I HAVEN'T 50.000 BUCKS
GETTING TO YES METHOD
OLD METHOD - RATIONAL
FISHER AND URY
RATIONAL
NOT REALLY USEFUL WITH IRRATIONAL PEOPLE
1: SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE EMOTION
2: DON'T GET WRAPPED UP IN THE OTHER SIDE'S POSITION (WHAT THEY ARE ASKING FOR)
BUT INSTEAD FOCUS ON THEIR INTEREST (WHY THEY ARE ASKING FOR IT)
SO YOU CAN FIND WHAT THEY REALLY WANT
3: WORK COOPERATIVELY TO GENERATE WIN-WIN OPTIONS
4: ESTABLISH MUTUALLY AGREED-UPON STANDARDS FOR EVALUATING THOSE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS.
CALM THE COUNTERPART
ACTIVE LISTENING
SLOW IT DOWN
USE THE VOICE
DEEP, SOFT, SLOW ASSURING, AS A DJ
YOU FEEL CONTROL
MIRRORING
REPEAT THE LAST THREE WORDS
70% BETTER THAT POSITIVE REINFORCE
"THE OTHER CAR IS NOT OUT THERE BECAUSE YOU GUYS CHASED MY DRIVER AWAY..."
MIRROR: "WE CHASED YOUR DRIVER AWAY?"
5 STEP
1. USE THE LATE-NIGHT FM DJ VOICE
CALM AND SLOW, IF YOUR DONE PROPERLY YOU CREATE AN AURA SO AUTHORITY AND TRUSTWORTHINESS WITHOUT TRIGGERING DEFENSIVENESS
THE POSITIVE PLAYFUL VOICE. THE DEFAULT, TO RELAX AND SMILE
THE DIRECT OR ASSERTIVE VOICE. USED RARELY BECAUSE WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS
2. START WITH "I'M SORRY..."
3. MIRROR
REPEAT THE LAST THREE WORDS (OR THE CRITICAL WORDS)
4. SILENCE, AT LEAST FOUR SECONDS, TO LET THE MIRROR WORK ITS MAGIC ON YOUR COUNTERPART
5. REPEAT
TACTICAL EMPATHY
1
1. A GOOD NEGOTIATOR IS PREPARED. A GREAT NEGOTIATORS IS PREPARED TI REVEAL THE SURPRISE HE IS CERTAIN TO FIND
2. DON'T COMMIT THE ASSUMPTIONS, VIEW THEM AS HYPOTHESIS - THE NEGOTIATION IS THE TEST
3. NEGOTIATION IS NOT A BATTLE, IS A PROCESS OF DISCOVERY, THE GOAL IS UNCOVER AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE
4. MAKE YOUR SOLE FOCUS TO THE OTHER PERSON AND WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY
5. SLOW IT DOWN
6. PUT A SMILE IN YOUR FACE
2
DON'T FEEL THEIR PAIN, LABEL IT
LABELING is a way to validating someone's emotion by acknowledging it
EMOTION'S AREN'T THE OBSTACLE, THEY ARE THE MEANS
"IT SEEMS LIKE..."
YOU WORRY THAT IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR, WE'LL COME IN WITH GUNS BLAZING
"IT LOOKS LIKE..."
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK IN JAIL
"IT SOUNDS LIKE..."
YOU CAN MOVE THE "PATIENT" TO A RATIONAL STATE IF HE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU EMPATHIZE HIS EMOTIONS
AND THEN GO SILENT
NEUTRALIZE THE NEGATIVE AND REINFORCE THE POSITIVE
IF THE OTHER IS ANGRY
"I'M AN ASSHOLE"
CREATE A COMMON DICTIONARY OF EMOTION AND YOU CAN GUIDE TO RATIONAL
BEWARE "YES" MASTER"NO"
YES CAN BE FALSE
ESCAPE ROOT FOR DON'T SAY NO
A CONFIRMATION "YES" IS A REFLEXIVE RESPONSE TO A BLACK AND WHITE QUESTION
ONLY A COMMITMENT "YES" IS A DEAL
NO USUALLY IS TRUE
AFTER QUESTION YOU AN ASK:"IT SEEMS THERE'S SOMETHING WHERE THAT BOTHERS YOU - "NO"
"DO YOU WANT THE FBI TO BE EMBARRASSED? - NO"
NO IS BETTER OF YES
NO IS NOT FAILURE
BECAUSE NO IS PREDICABLE IN A NEGOTIATIONS, YES IS A COMMITMENT
1-PAGE 86
2-PAGE 90
23% MORE SUCCESS BY 2
TRIGGER WORDS IN NEGOTIATION
SAME AS YES
REALLY BETTER THEN YES
IS "THAT'S RIGHT"
SUMMARIZE AND REPEAT WITH THE SAME PATTERN OF THE COUNTERPART
SIGNALED THAT THE NEGOTIATIONS COULD PROCEED FROM DEADLOCK
SIGNALED THAT SOMETHING CHANGE IN THE MIND OF A COUNTERPART
PAGE 103
WARNING:"YOU'RE RIGHT" CHANGE ANYTHING
DON'T COMPROMISE
NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE
COMPROMISE DON'T PRODUCE STRATEGY
TRY A CREATIVE SOLUTION
TAKE YOUR TIME
"NO DEAL IS BETTER THAT A BAD DEAL"
IF THE OPPONENT KNOWS YOUR DEADLINE HE'LL GET TO THE REAL DEAL AND CONCESSION-MAKING MORE QUICKLY
THE DEADLINES ARE ALMOST NEVER IRONCLAD
NO SUCH THINGS AS FAIR (there is no exact answer)
10 $ EXPERIMENT . YOU CAN OFFER TO OPPONENT
EVERYONE OFFER FROM 2 TO 8 $
THE ONLY LOGICAL OFFER IS 1$
WHEN STUDENT UNDERSTAND ROCKS BECAUSE THEY THINK TO BE RATIONAL ACTORS
"WE JUST WANT WAS FAIR"
IS THE RIGHT ANSWER
"..WE HAVE A FAIR OFFER"
"..SO PLEASE STOP ME AT ANY TIME IF YOU FEEL I'M BEING UNFAIR"
SPEAK AT THE END
I SUGGEST YOU LET THE OTHER SIDE ANCHOR MONETARY NEGOTIATIONS
USE ODD NUMBERS, NOT CATTED OR ROUNDED
PAGE 139
CREATE THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL
DON'T TRY TO NEGOTIATE IN A FIREFIGHT
THE IS ALWAYS A TEAM TO THE OTHER SIDE
CAN BE CHANGE THE PERSON YOU SPEAK TO
SUSPEND UNBELIEF
DIRECT QUESTION
"Hei dog, how do I know she's all right?"
"how" question
correct question
only a right answer
"Well, I put her on the phone"
don't use "WHY"
use calibrated question
What about this is important to you?
How can I help to make this better for us?
How would you like me to proceed?
What is that brought us into this situation?
How an we solve this problem?
What t he objective / What are we trying to accomplish here?
How am I suppose to do that?
Example
PAGE 156
PAGE 157
PAGE 158
THE LISTENER CONTROL
DON'T
try to force your opponent to admit that you are tight
start question that start with "Why"
is always an accusation in any language
AVOID
question that can be answered with "yes" or tiny part of information
ASK
calibrated question that start with the words "How" or "What"
CALIBRATE
your question to point your counterpart toward solving your problem
BYTE YOUR TONGUE
no angry, no emotions
THERE IS ALWAYS A TEAM ON THE OTHER SIDE
GUARANTEE EXECUTION
"YES" IS NOTHING WITHOUT "HOW"
IN A NEGOTIATION FOR MONEY ASK "HOW" IS BETTER THAT "NO"
BUILD TOGETHER THE PRICES, EX:LIST OF THINGS I CAN SALE
PINOCCHIO EFFECT
IN A STUDY OF THE COMPONENTS OF LYING, Harvard Business School professor Deepak Malhotra and his coauthors found that, on average, liars USE MORE WORDS then truth tellers and use FAR MORE THIRD-PERSON PRONOUNS. They start talking about him,her,it,one,they and their rather then I, in order to put some distance between themselves and the lie
humanize yourself, use your name - PAG 180
"NO" have alternative:
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I just can't do that"
PAGE 184
BARGAIN HARD
REST ON YOUR SIDE
3 TIME ALMOST
THANKS EVERY TIME YOUR OPPONENT DO PROPOSAL
NEGOTIATION STYLE
STUDY FROM AMERICAN LAYER-NEGOTIATOR
65% COOPERATIVE STYLE
24% TRULY ASSERTIVE STYLE
ANALYST
METHODICAL AND DILIGENT
NOT EMOTIONAL
CAN WILL GIVE YOU A PIECE, IF YOU DON'T, HE DISENGAGE
REMEMBER TO SMILE AND LEAVE THE TIME TO THINK TO YOUR OPPONENT
SILENCE MEANS THEY WANT TO THINK
ACCOMODATOR
THEY LOVE WIN-WIN
FOCUSED ON PERSON
DON'T SACRIFICE YOUR OBJECTIONS - ATTENTION TO EXCESS CHITCHAT
ASSERTIVE
TIME IS MONEY
LOVE TO WIN
AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION STYLE
EVERY SILENCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK MORE
ATTENTION TO THE TONE - CALIBRATE QUESTIONS AND LABELS
THE BLACK SWAN RULE IS DON'T TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED; TREAT THEM THE WAY THEY NEED TOBE TREATED
ZOPA - ZONE OF POSSIBLE AGREEMENT
35%-65% LAW
1) SET YOUR TARGET PRICE (YOUR GOAL)
2) SET YOUR FIRST OFFER AT 65 PERCENT OF YOUR TARGET PRICE
3) CALCULATE THREE RAISES OF DECREASING INCREMENTS (to 85, 95 and 100 percent)
4) USE LOTS OF EMPATHY AND DIFFERENT WAYS OF SAYING "NO" TO GET THE OTHER SIDE TO COUNTER BEFORE YOU INCREASE YOUR OFFER
5) WHEN CALCULATE THE FINAL AMOUNT, USE PRECISE, NON ROUND NUMBERS LIKE, SAY, $37893 RATHER THAN $38000. IT GIVES THE NUMBER CREDIBILITY AND WEIGHT
6) ON YOUR FINAL NUMBER, THROW IN A NON MONETARY ITEM (THAT THEY PROBABLY DON'T WANT) TO SHOW YOU'RE AT YOUR LIMIT
THE BEST QUESTION IS NOT "WHY"
IS "I DON'T SEE HOW THAT WOULD EVER WORK"
OR "WHY DID YOU DO THAT"
THE ATTENTION IS ON THAT
"I" MESSAGE
FOR STRATEGIC BOUNDING
"I'M SORRY, THIS DON'T WORK FOR ME"
"I FEEL______WHEN YOU_____BECAUSE________
NO AGGRESSIVE TONE
THE THREE TYPES OF LEVERAGE
POSITIVE
WHEN YOU CAN GIVE SOMETHING TO THE OPPONENT
"I WANT TO BUY YOUR CAR"
NEGATIVE
ABILITY TO MAKE THE COUNTERPART SUFFER
"IF YOU DON'T FULFILL YOUR COMMITMENT YOUR BILL/ETC..., I WILL DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION"
"IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DON'T..."
NORMATIVE
"IS USING THE OTHER PARTY'S NORMS AND STANDARDS TO ADVANCE YOUR POSITION"
RELIGION
THE MARKET, THE EXPERTS, GOD, SOCIETY...
A GOOD REASON FOR MOTIVATION
MISTAKES
1) THEY ARE ILL-INFORMED
HAVE INFORMATION DIFFERENT ON YOU
2) THEY ARE CONSTRAINED
BY COMPANY RULES
3) THEY HAVE OTHER INTEREST
HIDDEN TO YOU