Six Principles of Influence Reading Notes

Six Principles of "Influence" (1) - Reciprocity

How the principle of reciprocity works

① Reciprocity and the accompanying debt repayment, this sense of debt makes it difficult for others to refuse

②The principle of reciprocity applies to imposed favors. A person can trigger our sense of indebtedness by forcing some benefits on us.

③The principle of reciprocity can trigger unequal exchange. Does this explain why small initial kindnesses often spur people to reciprocate much larger favors? The feeling of indebtedness makes people feel very uncomfortable, which is a very important reason

④ People who violate the principle of reciprocity and accept kindness without trying to repay others are not welcomed by social groups.

reciprocal concession

①The general rule of reciprocity states that if someone behaves in a certain way towards us, we should behave in a similar way towards him/her.

②The principle of reciprocity achieves mutual concessions through two channels

A. It forces the person who accepted the other party's concession to respond in the same way;

B. Since the person who accepts the concession has the obligation to reciprocate, people are willing to take the lead in making concessions, thereby initiating a beneficial exchange process.

③Rejection-withdrawal: In essence, it is an arrangement in the order of requests, which not only stimulates people to agree to the request, but also encourages them to practice their promises and even asks them to voluntarily fulfill further requests.

A. Sense of responsibility. Subjects who encountered their opponent's rejection-and-retreat tactics felt more responsible for the final outcome of the negotiation. Compared with subjects who did not give in at all when faced with an opponent, they felt that they had successfully influenced their opponent.

B. Satisfaction. People want to rely on their own efforts, and their opponents "give in".

How to say no

If the proposal is something we really agree with, then we might as well accept it; if the proposal has some ulterior motive, then we should ignore it. The principle of reciprocity only says to repay kindness with kindness, but it does not say to repay trickery with kindness.

Six Principles of "Influence" (2) - Commitment and Consistency

Keep your word

①Everyone has a desire to be consistent in what they say and do (and also appear to be consistent in what they say and do)

② In most circumstances, it is valuable and appropriate to be consistent in what you say and what you do. According to people's general feeling, inconsistency between words and deeds is an undesirable personality trait. People whose beliefs, words, and actions are inconsistent will be regarded as confused, inconsistent, or even mentally ill. On the other hand, a high degree of consistency in words and deeds is mostly associated with strong personality and superior intelligence. It is the core of logic, stability and honesty.

Commitment is key

① Be careful when accepting trivial requests, because once agreed, it may affect our self-perception. Not only does it increase our compliance with similar larger requests, it also makes us more willing to do things that have nothing to do with the small requests we agreed to previously.

② In order for commitments to achieve such an effect, certain conditions must be met: they must be actively, openly and freely chosen by the parties concerned after some hard work.

Why the strange behavior?

①What people around us think of us plays a very important role in determining our self-perception.

② Once you take the initiative to make a commitment, your self-image will be subject to consistency pressure from both internal and external aspects.

A. People have inner pressure to adjust their self-image to be consistent with their behavior;

B. There is also a more sneaky external pressure, and people will adjust their image according to how others perceive them.

The effectiveness of public commitments

①Public commitments often have lasting effects

② Whenever a person chooses a position in public, he will have the motivation to maintain it because it can appear consistent.

Extra effort produces results

①The more effort you put into a promise, the greater its impact on the promiser

② People who go through a lot of trouble to get something tend to value it more than people who get it easily.

inner choice

①Only when we believe that there is no strong pressure from the outside world, will we take responsibility for our actions from the bottom of our hearts

② The order of "throwing the ball low" sales technique is always the same: giving people a sweet spot first to induce them to make a favorable purchase decision.

How to say no

① Maintain an ideological awareness

②While consistent, we must also avoid stupid brain-dead thinking.

Six Principles of "Influence" (3) - Social Identity

social proof principle

We act on the opinions of others when deciding what is right. This principle applies particularly to our judgments about the right behavior in a given situation, where our opinion of whether an action is right or wrong in a given situation depends on what other people do. The way we respond to social approval is entirely unconscious and reflexive, allowing biased or even fabricated evidence to fool us.

Optimal conditions

Generally speaking, we are most likely to feel that others are doing the right thing when we are uncertain about the situation, when the situation is unclear or ambiguous, and when the surprise is too great

Bystanders are least likely to come to the aid of an emergency when a large number of other bystanders are present at the scene. The reasons are A. There are other people around who can help, and the responsibility of a single person is reduced. Everyone thinks that others will help (or others have already helped), but no one helps; B. Society It is based on the principle of identification and involves the effect of pluralistic ignorance.

pluralistic ignorance effect

We stand out the most among strangers: Because we like to appear elegant and mature in public, and because we are not familiar with the reactions of strangers, we may not be able to show concern when we are among a group of strangers. , and cannot correctly interpret other people’s expressions of concern

Applications to social identity and the pluralistic ignorance effect

When emergency assistance is needed, your best strategy is to reduce uncertainty, draw attention to your situation to those around you, and clarify your responsibilities. Be as precise as possible about what kind of help you need without leaving it up to onlookers to judge, as the principle of social proof and the resultant pluralist ignorance effect, especially in a crowd, is likely to lead them to believe that your situation is not urgent. .

How to say no

In the face of obviously fake social evidence, as long as we stay a little more vigilant, we can protect ourselves well.

Six Principles of "Influence" (4) - Preference

The reason why I like you

①Appearance charm

A. We automatically add some positive characteristics to good-looking people, such as being talented, kind, honest, and smart. And we make these judgments without realizing the role physical attractiveness plays.

B. Good-looking people are more likely to get help when needed and are more persuasive when changing the opinions of the audience.

②Similarity

A. We like people who are similar to ourselves. Whether the similarities are in opinions, personalities, backgrounds or lifestyles, we tend to

B. We subconsciously respond positively to people who are similar to us

C. There is another way for requesters to use similarities to improve favorability and increase the probability of compliance: they pretend to have similar backgrounds and interests to us.

③compliment

People especially like to hear compliments and flattery

④Contact and cooperation

A. Familiarity affects people’s preferences and plays a certain role in all kinds of decisions we make.

B. If we work together for common interests, then the seller will turn from our opposition to a comrade-in-arms.

⑤Conditioned reflection and association

A. People will try their best to associate themselves with happy news

B. People will naturally stay away from bad news and the person who brings it, even if the messenger has nothing to do with the bad news.

C. "Lunch Technique": People like the people or things they come into contact with during the meal.

How to say no

① Do not suppress the influence of favorable factors, allow these factors to exert their power, and then use this power to deal with those who want to profit from it.

②When we make a decision to comply, emotionally separate the person making the request from the request itself

Six Principles of "Influence" (5) - Authority

1. Why obey authority?

A. Obeying orders from authority figures can always bring us some practical benefits.

B. In many cases, as long as an orthodox authority speaks, other things that should be considered become irrelevant.

2. Symbols of authority

①Title

A. Titles can influence the behavior of others more than the nature of the parties concerned

B. In addition to making strangers behave more respectfully, titles can also make the person with the title appear taller in the eyes of others.

②Clothing

③Identity mark

Exquisite, expensive clothing carries an aura of status and status, as do similar status symbols such as jewelry and cars.

3.How to refuse

① To avoid being misled by authority status, one of the defense strategies is to be mentally prepared in advance.

② Have this idea: the qualifications of the authority, and whether these qualifications are relevant to the topic at hand

③ "Is this authority a real expert?" Put your attention where it should be, and this question also forces us to find out whether the authority is related to the matter.

④ "Is this expert telling the truth?" Even the most knowledgeable authority may not tell us the information honestly. Therefore, we must consider how credible they really are in the current situation.

Six Principles of "Influence" (6) - Scarcity

1. Rare things are valuable

①The rarer the opportunity, the higher the value seems to be

②The fear of losing something seems to motivate people more than the desire to obtain the same item.

2. Reverse psychology

①Things that are difficult to obtain are generally better than things that are easily obtained. Quickly and accurately judge the quality of something based on how easy it is to obtain it. That is to say, one reason why the scarcity principle is established is that judgments based on it are correct most of the time.

② As opportunities become fewer and fewer, our freedom will also be lost. And we hate losing the freedom we originally had. The desire to protect vested interests is at the core of psychological reversal theory.

3.How to refuse

① Once we experience heightened emotions in a submissive environment, we can remind ourselves that someone may be playing scarcity tactics and we must proceed with caution.

②Scarce things do not taste better, sound better, look better, or work better just because they are difficult to obtain.

③If we find ourselves surrounded by scarcity pressures in a conforming environment, it is best to adopt a two-step response method.

A. Once we feel ourselves experiencing high emotional swings under the influence of shortages, we should take this swing as a signal to pause. To make informed decisions, panicked, fanatical reactions are inappropriate. We need to calm down and regain a rational perspective.

B. Ask yourself why we want that thing. If the answer is that we want it primarily because we want to own it, then we should use its scarcity to judge how much to pay for it. If the answer is that we want it primarily for its functionality, then we must remember that the functionality of the item is the same whether it is scarce or plentiful. In short, scarce cookies don't taste any better.