MindMap Gallery The courage to be hated
"The Courage to Be Disliked" Reading Notes: People live in a subjectively created world, because the subjective role makes the world complex and chaotic. It is difficult to be happy if you don't make changes; you can't change because you have made the decision to "not change". Determination and purpose, unable to step out of comfort, without the courage to achieve happiness.
Edited at 2022-05-13 13:51:22One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
Project management is the process of applying specialized knowledge, skills, tools, and methods to project activities so that the project can achieve or exceed the set needs and expectations within the constraints of limited resources. This diagram provides a comprehensive overview of the 8 components of the project management process and can be used as a generic template for direct application.
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
Project management is the process of applying specialized knowledge, skills, tools, and methods to project activities so that the project can achieve or exceed the set needs and expectations within the constraints of limited resources. This diagram provides a comprehensive overview of the 8 components of the project management process and can be used as a generic template for direct application.
The courage to be hated
Everyone can be happy
The world is very simple
People live in a world created subjectively, because the role of subjectivity If I am complicated, the world will be complicated and chaotic. It will be difficult to be happy if I don’t make changes.
people need to change
Everyone can change
Based on teleology and negating the theory of causes
Teleological
core ideas
Your current lifestyle, living conditions, and misfortunes are all the result of your own choices. I am creating my own life
theory of causes
The past determines the present, and people are always affected by the past. They cannot change and will stop moving forward.
Accept yourself, move forward bravely, and keep moving forward
Being unable to change is because you have made the determination and purpose of "not changing", cannot get out of comfort, and do not have the courage to achieve happiness.
Have the courage to abandon your current lifestyle and always practice it
All troubles stem from interpersonal relationships
Treat relationships with others as competitive relationships Caught in a power struggle
There are winners and losers
Excessive inferiority complex
inferiority complex
Abnormal psychological state, using inferiority complex as an excuse, such as because I have low self-esteem and cannot do xxx
superiority complex
False sense of superiority, if it weren’t for me xxx, I could do it
Same properties
If someone is arrogant, it must be because of a sense of inferiority.
Show off misfortune, achieve a sense of superiority by sharpening his inferiority complex, and use misfortune to highlight his own specialness. Misfortune is a "good thing" for him
inferiority complex
It is a subjective inferiority complex caused by comparing with others.
Because it is subjective, you can choose again and choose a new way of life.
What matters is not what is given, but how to use what is given
A healthy sense of inferiority is to compare with the "rational self", not with others.
pursuit of superiority
Good and healthy inferiority complex
The universal desire to get rid of powerlessness and pursue progress
On the basis of equality, everyone is moving forward, no one is superior to others
Life is not competition, as long as you keep moving forward The value lies in constantly surpassing oneself
Although people are different, they are equal
harm
Caught in a power struggle, a cycle of revenge
You can’t make the right choice if you stick to winning or losing.
Everyone is a partner
life goals
self-reliance
I am capable
harmonious
Everyone is my partner
How to achieve?
Three major topics
Human relationships that have to be faced
Work topic
Friendship topics
The subject of love
Pay attention to the distance and thickness of interpersonal relationships Keep an appropriate distance and do not interfere too much with others
Not being able to see others as partners means avoiding the three major issues, namely "life lies" and not having the courage to achieve happiness.
free
The courage to be hated
Wanting to gain recognition from others, meeting other people’s expectations, and caring about other people’s evaluations is because the subjects are not separated.
separation of subjects
How others evaluate oneself is a subject for others
Taking on other people's problems will make your life heavy and painful
Don’t interfere in other people’s projects, and don’t let others interfere in your own projects.
It does not mean laissez-faire, but non-interference and providing help when needed.
That is to have the courage to be hated by others, not to please everyone, not to meet other people's expectations and recognition, and to live for yourself
Tendency: Although everyone has the instinctive desire and impulse not to be disliked, you must control this desire and do not let yourself continue to fall.
Interpersonal relationship card: Wanting to be liked by others, thinking that interpersonal relationships are in the hands of others, mastering the separation of subjects, and the interpersonal relationship card is in one's own hands
Subject separation is not the ultimate goal of interpersonal relationships, but the entrance
sense of community
ultimate goal of relationships
Seeing others as partners and being able to find one's own place, that is, a sense of belonging
Everyone is not the center of the world, but just a part of the community. We are the center of the world map. We must actively participate in the community and face life's issues head-on.
Community is not limited to schools, companies, families and other entities. It has multiple and infinite dimensions. Freedom and community coexist.
horizontal relationship
I do not agree with praise because it is a top-down behavior based on the superior-subordinate relationship, and there is a horizontal equal relationship with others.
The behavior of wanting to interfere with others in the topic of subject separation is essentially a reflection of vertical relationship behavior
encourage
Instead, use encouragement to encourage the courage to face your own issues, and based on horizontal relationships, without judging others, such as "Thank you."
Feeling contributed = valuable
Use the standard of existence rather than the standard of behavior to judge value, that is, existence means value, and start adding from 0
Build a sense of community
three keys
self-acceptance
The point is not what is given, but how to use what is given
Accept what you can't do, and then work towards what you can do
trust in others
Credit: Trust others conditionally
Trust: Trust others unconditionally
Overcome the fear of betrayal
Separate topics
Contributions from others
Influence and contribute to partners
It does not mean self-sacrifice, but it means being useful to others, participating in the community, finding self-worth, and gaining a sense of belonging.
lack of harmony in life
It is a wrong way of life to judge the whole thing based on only one part. Don't focus on your own shortcomings and people who don't like you.
Happiness is a sense of contribution
To obtain a sense of happiness, the subjective feeling of being useful to others is enough.
Have the courage to be ordinary
Living in the moment
Take mountain climbing as an example. Life is a series of moments, rather than a planned route in advance. You have already started climbing when you go out. Live in this moment.
Potential life: reaching the end is complete
Realistic life: complete now
Life has no universal meaning, the meaning is given by oneself How to find meaning: Guiding Star: Contribution of Others, Living in the Moment