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The Courage to Be Disliked
The book adopts the classical method of Greek philosophy "Dialogue" and launches a simple but profound discussion around the issue of "how people can obtain happiness". The "philosopher" explains to the "youth" in a simple and easy-to-understand way how to improve interpersonal relationships, how to obtain happiness, and how to muster up the courage to face others when being disliked.
Edited at 2022-09-12 21:18:24- One Hundred Years of Solitude Character Relationship Chart
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
- One Hundred Years of Solitude Character Relationship Chart
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
- Project Management Process Template
Project management is the process of applying specialized knowledge, skills, tools, and methods to project activities so that the project can achieve or exceed the set needs and expectations within the constraints of limited resources. This diagram provides a comprehensive overview of the 8 components of the project management process and can be used as a generic template for direct application.
The Courage to Be Disliked
- One Hundred Years of Solitude Character Relationship Chart
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
- One Hundred Years of Solitude Character Relationship Chart
One Hundred Years of Solitude is the masterpiece of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Reading this book begins with making sense of the characters' relationships, which are centered on the Buendía family and tells the story of the family's prosperity and decline, internal relationships and political struggles, self-mixing and rebirth over the course of a hundred years.
- Project Management Process Template
Project management is the process of applying specialized knowledge, skills, tools, and methods to project activities so that the project can achieve or exceed the set needs and expectations within the constraints of limited resources. This diagram provides a comprehensive overview of the 8 components of the project management process and can be used as a generic template for direct application.
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- Outline
Adler's "The Courage to Be Disliked"
Theme: All troubles originate from interpersonal relationships. The book explains how to solve these troubles.
Ideological Preparation: Teleology
The path: starting from subject separation and heading towards a sense of community.
Key practices: self-acceptance, respect for others, contribution of others
Teleology, getting rid of the shackles of self-thought
Get rid of the shackles of history
Refuting the causes of trauma
What meaning you give to your past experiences depends on you
Affirming past trauma is just to show that it’s not your fault
character
Decide to change your lifestyle
completely changeable
Get rid of emotional constraints
anger
It's just a means to achieve an end.
I feel that it is too troublesome to reason, and I create anger just to get angry. Anger is a tool that can be released or recovered.
self-abasement
Comes from subjective imagination and interpretation.
The more conceited a person is, the inferior he or she is
It all depends on your own subjective decision and any subjective interpretation.
Suitable for accepting objective facts that cannot be changed, such as height, appearance, etc.
Only by converting values into values can the unchangeable become an advantage.
can be changed
Cognition, knowledge, skills, psychology, personality, happiness
Self-evaluation: I have no value, or only a little value
value conversion
Being short makes people approachable and has the ability to make people feel relaxed.
Boasting misfortune and exposing one's inferiority complex to gain a false sense of superiority
A healthy sense of inferiority comes not from comparison with others, but from comparison with the "ideal self."
resentment
Bad leadership and meaningless work are all the needs of individuals to make themselves think that as long as they have a favorite career and good leadership, they can achieve success.
distressed
Even if they are dissatisfied and not free, they still cannot find the courage to change their lives, dare not overcome difficulties, are unwilling to make real efforts, and maintain the status quo.
Get rid of the shackles of the mind
Excuse
Keep the possibility
If you can become a person like Y, you will be happy
If I do, I can too
I don’t want to go out and be judged by others, and I don’t want to face the reality of losing because of poor results.
Occlusion
Being shut up is an end in itself, not because of social uneasiness.
Separate topics and get rid of external pressure
Know whose subject it is
Who ultimately bears responsibility
Get rid of the need for recognition
Having a strong desire for recognition is a kind of self-centeredness
No matter what you do, there will always be people who hate you
No matter what you do, some people won't like you
If you want to be recognized by everyone, you will only agree to everyone's request and eventually let everyone agree.
Have the courage to be hated. To maintain freedom, dare to be hated.
Build horizontal relationships
The important thing is equality in consciousness and insisting on one's own opinions.
If you follow your boss's instructions and the job ends in failure, you are also responsible. You have room to say no and suggest a better way.
sense of community, interpersonal goals
I can feel like I'm here
valuable
key practices
social interest
How people feel in a community
We must turn our obsession with ourselves into concern for others
Note: Caring about others and building relationships, asking for help when doing things, and waiting until poverty before asking for help are completely different levels of thinking and are the fundamental difference between foresight and short-sightedness.
self-acceptance
Saying to yourself who scored 60 points, "It's just bad luck this time, the real me can score 100 points" is self-affirmation; on the other hand, based on honestly accepting yourself with 60 points, think hard about "how to get closer" 100 points”, that’s self-acceptance.
trust in others
Believe unconditionally. This is trust.
Suppose you base your relationships on doubt. Doubting others, doubting friends, even doubting family members or lovers, life is full of doubts. What kind of relationship will this create? The other party can also instantly sense your suspicious gaze and intuitively think, "This person doesn't trust me." Do you think this can create any positive relationships? Only if we choose unconditional trust can we build a deeper relationship.
You now believe that "unconditional trust in others will only lead to betrayal." However, it is not you who decides whether to betray or not, that is someone else’s issue.
Contribution of Others (Guiding Star in Life)
To influence and contribute to others as partners is the contribution of others.
Other contribution does not mean self-sacrifice. On the contrary, Adler called people who sacrificed their lives for others "overadapted people" and warned against this.
Contribution by others is not about giving up "I" and serving others. It is a means to realize the value of "I".
live in this moment
It’s okay to have no goals in life. Living the "here and now" seriously is a dance in itself. Don't take life too seriously. Please don’t confuse earnestness with profundity.
The biggest lie in life is not living in the “here and now.” Obsessing with the past, focusing on the future, shining a weak and fuzzy light on life as a whole, thinking that I have seen something. Ignoring the "here and now" and focusing only on the past and future that do not exist at all, you tell a big lie about your own life and irreplaceable moments.
Give your life meaning
There is no universal meaning of life
The meaning of life is given by oneself