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Objective management mind map
This is a mind map about management by objectives. This mind map will teach you the basic methods to achieve goal management. Management by objectives: Improve your ability to control the future.
Edited at 2021-09-21 17:55:20
- cáncer de pulmón
El cáncer de pulmón es un tumor maligno que se origina en la mucosa bronquial o las glándulas de los pulmones. Es uno de los tumores malignos con mayor morbilidad y mortalidad y mayor amenaza para la salud y la vida humana.
- diabetes
La diabetes es una enfermedad crónica con hiperglucemia como signo principal. Es causada principalmente por una disminución en la secreción de insulina causada por una disfunción de las células de los islotes pancreáticos, o porque el cuerpo es insensible a la acción de la insulina (es decir, resistencia a la insulina), o ambas cosas. la glucosa en la sangre es ineficaz para ser utilizada y almacenada.
- sistema digestivo
El sistema digestivo es uno de los nueve sistemas principales del cuerpo humano y es el principal responsable de la ingesta, digestión, absorción y excreción de los alimentos. Consta de dos partes principales: el tracto digestivo y las glándulas digestivas.
Objective management mind map
- cáncer de pulmón
El cáncer de pulmón es un tumor maligno que se origina en la mucosa bronquial o las glándulas de los pulmones. Es uno de los tumores malignos con mayor morbilidad y mortalidad y mayor amenaza para la salud y la vida humana.
- diabetes
La diabetes es una enfermedad crónica con hiperglucemia como signo principal. Es causada principalmente por una disminución en la secreción de insulina causada por una disfunción de las células de los islotes pancreáticos, o porque el cuerpo es insensible a la acción de la insulina (es decir, resistencia a la insulina), o ambas cosas. la glucosa en la sangre es ineficaz para ser utilizada y almacenada.
- sistema digestivo
El sistema digestivo es uno de los nueve sistemas principales del cuerpo humano y es el principal responsable de la ingesta, digestión, absorción y excreción de los alimentos. Consta de dos partes principales: el tracto digestivo y las glándulas digestivas.
- Recommended to you
- Outline
management by objectives
success equation
Success = Goal*Strategy*(Momentum-Resistance)
Customized high-quality goals
adopt good strategy
Expand the difference between motivation and resistance
high quality goals
Questions to think about
Your dreams, hopes, passions, and purpose for living
Goals should reflect who you are, what kind of life you want to live, and what you want to bring to the world.
a premise
Goals aligned with core values
values
People's inner needs that have been reconciled by external standards are both generally accepted by society and something that people need internally. They are usually positive and can be told to others.
significance
Goals that are consistent with our core values will increase our self-esteem, increase our life satisfaction, and allow us to perform at our best and therefore be more likely to succeed.
Three Steps to Setting Goals Aligned with Core Values
Find your core values
ask yourself
First, what kind of things are meaningful to me?
Second, when was the last time I felt happy and content? What happened?
Third, at the last moment of my life, what kind of person do I want to be?
Fourth, how do I want my descendants to evaluate me?
Fifth, what do I want to leave to the world?
How to identify
When choosing, please pay attention to choosing those you "want" rather than what you "should".
Ask yourself a question: Which of these two things can I live without?
Adjust goal priority
Compare existing goals with core values and adjust goal priorities
Set goals that satisfy core values
Review the core values list, look for core values that are not being met, and set corresponding goals to meet them
three key points
Goals must meet SMART principles
S, specific
Specific and clear goals
M, measurable
Quantifiable evaluation criteria
A, it is possible to achieve
Goals should be challenging, but not unrealistic
R, associated with other goals
Goals are related to your other goals, not in isolation
T, time-limited
A clear deadline will increase your sense of urgency, thereby increasing your ability to take action
Write down your SMART goals and look at them frequently. This will make your actions more focused on your goals and increase the likelihood of their success.
Goals must be balanced in all areas of life
All areas of life influence and promote each other
balance wheel
Which areas have lower scores? what is the reason?
How have these areas impacted other areas?
If you increase them by 1 point, what impact will it have on other areas?
If I increase my score by 1 point, what goals can I set in each of these areas? What kind of action should be taken?
In each stage, you should have a main goal, rather than completing all goals at the same time
Do this exercise every three months to balance your goals in all areas of your life
Goals must be challenging
The purpose is to challenge the comfort zone and stimulate potential and creativity
Stretch Goal
A height that requires some effort to reach
You can set a goal that you are 50% sure of completing.
30%, 40% possibility of achieving the goal
Develop scientific and reasonable strategies
Thinking about the problem
where am i now
See your starting point in reality clearly
How do I get where I want to go?
Customize your own plan to reach your goals
See your starting point in reality clearly
Have an objective and clear understanding of yourself
self-observation
By continuously observing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a specific environment and recording them, you can see your usual patterns and make changes.
Statistics log
Record the frequency and duration of a behavior you want to change, accurately evaluate and analyze your behavior, and make wise strategies.
ABC Log
A is Antecedents, the premise that causes something to happen
B is behaviors, behavior
C stands for Consequences, consequences
The events after the behavior can be your next behavior, or the thoughts and feelings you have after the behavior.
Make a plan that will definitely come true
The essence of the plan
The process of achieving goals is the process of getting what we want through action
A plan is a series of new behaviors that are different from the past. By reasonably arranging and adjusting these new behaviors, we let them lead us step by step to achieve our goals.
ABC ideas for planning
A. Prerequisite for changing original behavior
B. Replace the original behavior with new behavior
Incompatible behavior
When I do this thing, I can't do another thing
C. Use reinforcement techniques to reinforce new behaviors
Reinforcement means that after you do something, you will get a result that you like very much
Consciously set rewards for yourself after taking actions to make your actions more motivational
Four important principles to ensure plan completion
Plans must be implemented realistically
The goal should be challenging and can be set higher, but the plan should be arranged according to your own reality.
small and simple
Small and simple plans allow us to focus more clearly on our goals without putting too much pressure on ourselves to give up midway.
Think in advance about possible obstacles and have a plan to deal with them
Record the completion of the plan
Remember what your plan is
see your own progress
Record feedback
Adjust the plan at any time based on feedback
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, you no longer need willpower to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
management by objectives
success equation
Success = Goal*Strategy*(Momentum-Resistance)
Customized high-quality goals
adopt good strategy
Expand the difference between motivation and resistance
high quality goals
Questions to think about
Your dreams, hopes, passions, and purpose for living
Goals should reflect who you are, what kind of life you want to live, and what you want to bring to the world.
a premise
Goals aligned with core values
values
People's inner needs that have been reconciled by external standards are both generally accepted by society and something that people need internally. They are usually positive and can be told to others.
significance
Goals that are consistent with our core values will increase our self-esteem, increase our life satisfaction, and allow us to perform at our best and therefore be more likely to succeed.
Three Steps to Setting Goals Aligned with Core Values
Find your core values
ask yourself
First, what kind of things are meaningful to me?
Second, when was the last time I felt happy and content? What happened?
Third, at the last moment of my life, what kind of person do I want to be?
Fourth, how do I want my descendants to evaluate me?
Fifth, what do I want to leave to the world?
How to identify
When choosing, please pay attention to choosing those you "want" rather than what you "should".
Ask yourself a question: Which of these two things can I live without?
Adjust goal priority
Compare existing goals with core values and adjust goal priorities
Set goals that satisfy core values
Review the core values list, look for core values that are not being met, and set corresponding goals to meet them
three key points
Goals must meet SMART principles
S, specific
Specific and clear goals
M, measurable
Quantifiable evaluation criteria
A, it is possible to achieve
Goals should be challenging, but not unrealistic
R, associated with other goals
Goals are related to your other goals, not in isolation
T, time-limited
A clear deadline will increase your sense of urgency, thereby increasing your ability to take action
Write down your SMART goals and look at them frequently. This will make your actions more focused on your goals and increase the likelihood of their success.
Goals must be balanced in all areas of life
All areas of life influence and promote each other
balance wheel
Which areas have lower scores? what is the reason?
How have these areas impacted other areas?
If you increase them by 1 point, what impact will it have on other areas?
If I increase my score by 1 point, what goals can I set in each of these areas? What kind of action should be taken?
In each stage, you should have a main goal, rather than completing all goals at the same time
Do this exercise every three months to balance your goals in all areas of your life
Goals must be challenging
The purpose is to challenge the comfort zone and stimulate potential and creativity
Stretch Goal
A height that requires some effort to reach
You can set a goal that you are 50% sure of completing.
30%, 40% possibility of achieving the goal
Develop scientific and reasonable strategies
Thinking about the problem
where am i now
See your starting point in reality clearly
How do I get where I want to go?
Customize your own plan to reach your goals
See your starting point in reality clearly
Have an objective and clear understanding of yourself
self-observation
By continuously observing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a specific environment and recording them, you can see your usual patterns and make changes.
Statistics log
Record the frequency and duration of a behavior you want to change, accurately evaluate and analyze your behavior, and make wise strategies.
ABC Log
A is Antecedents, the premise that causes something to happen
B is behaviors, behavior
C stands for Consequences, consequences
The events after the behavior can be your next behavior, or the thoughts and feelings you have after the behavior.
Make a plan that will definitely come true
The essence of the plan
The process of achieving goals is the process of getting what we want through action
A plan is a series of new behaviors that are different from the past. By reasonably arranging and adjusting these new behaviors, we let them lead us step by step to achieve our goals.
ABC ideas for planning
A. Prerequisite for changing original behavior
B. Replace the original behavior with new behavior
Incompatible behavior
When I do this thing, I can't do another thing
C. Use reinforcement techniques to reinforce new behaviors
Reinforcement means that after you do something, you will get a result that you like very much
Consciously set rewards for yourself after taking actions to make your actions more motivational
Four important principles to ensure plan completion
Plans must be implemented realistically
The goal should be challenging and can be set higher, but the plan should be arranged according to your own reality.
small and simple
Small and simple plans allow us to focus more clearly on our goals without putting too much pressure on ourselves to give up midway.
Think in advance about possible obstacles and have a plan to deal with them
Record the completion of the plan
Remember what your plan is
see your own progress
Record feedback
Adjust the plan at any time based on feedback
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, you no longer need willpower to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
success equation
Success = Goal*Strategy*(Momentum-Resistance)
Customized high-quality goals
adopt good strategy
Expand the difference between motivation and resistance
high quality goals
Questions to think about
Your dreams, hopes, passions, and purpose for living
Goals should reflect who you are, what kind of life you want to live, and what you want to bring to the world.
a premise
Goals aligned with core values
values
People's inner needs that have been reconciled by external standards are both generally accepted by society and something that people need internally. They are usually positive and can be told to others.
significance
Goals that are consistent with our core values will increase our self-esteem, increase our life satisfaction, and allow us to perform at our best and therefore be more likely to succeed.
Three Steps to Setting Goals Aligned with Core Values
Find your core values
ask yourself
First, what kind of things are meaningful to me?
Second, when was the last time I felt happy and content? What happened?
Third, at the last moment of my life, what kind of person do I want to be?
Fourth, how do I want my descendants to evaluate me?
Fifth, what do I want to leave to the world?
How to identify
When choosing, please pay attention to choosing those you "want" rather than what you "should".
Ask yourself a question: Which of these two things can I live without?
Adjust goal priority
Compare existing goals with core values and adjust goal priorities
Set goals that satisfy core values
Review the core values list, look for core values that are not being met, and set corresponding goals to meet them
three key points
Goals must meet SMART principles
S, specific
Specific and clear goals
M, measurable
Quantifiable evaluation criteria
A, it is possible to achieve
Goals should be challenging, but not unrealistic
R, associated with other goals
Goals are related to your other goals, not in isolation
T, time-limited
A clear deadline will increase your sense of urgency, thereby increasing your ability to take action
Write down your SMART goals and look at them frequently. This will make your actions more focused on your goals and increase the likelihood of their success.
Goals must be balanced in all areas of life
All areas of life influence and promote each other
balance wheel
Which areas have lower scores? what is the reason?
How have these areas impacted other areas?
If you increase them by 1 point, what impact will it have on other areas?
If I increase my score by 1 point, what goals can I set in each of these areas? What kind of action should be taken?
In each stage, you should have a main goal, rather than completing all goals at the same time
Do this exercise every three months to balance your goals in all areas of your life
Goals must be challenging
The purpose is to challenge the comfort zone and stimulate potential and creativity
Stretch Goal
A height that requires some effort to reach
You can set a goal that you are 50% sure of completing.
30%, 40% possibility of achieving the goal
high quality goals
Questions to think about
Your dreams, hopes, passions, and purpose for living
Goals should reflect who you are, what kind of life you want to live, and what you want to bring to the world.
a premise
Goals aligned with core values
values
People's inner needs that have been reconciled by external standards are both generally accepted by society and something that people need internally. They are usually positive and can be told to others.
significance
Goals that are consistent with our core values will increase our self-esteem, increase our life satisfaction, and allow us to perform at our best and therefore be more likely to succeed.
Three Steps to Setting Goals Aligned with Core Values
Find your core values
ask yourself
First, what kind of things are meaningful to me?
Second, when was the last time I felt happy and content? What happened?
Third, at the last moment of my life, what kind of person do I want to be?
Fourth, how do I want my descendants to evaluate me?
Fifth, what do I want to leave to the world?
How to identify
When choosing, please pay attention to choosing those you "want" rather than what you "should".
Ask yourself a question: Which of these two things can I live without?
Adjust goal priority
Compare existing goals with core values and adjust goal priorities
Set goals that satisfy core values
Review the core values list, look for core values that are not being met, and set corresponding goals to meet them
three key points
Goals must meet SMART principles
S, specific
Specific and clear goals
M, measurable
Quantifiable evaluation criteria
A, it is possible to achieve
Goals should be challenging, but not unrealistic
R, associated with other goals
Goals are related to your other goals, not in isolation
T, time-limited
A clear deadline will increase your sense of urgency, thereby increasing your ability to take action
Write down your SMART goals and look at them frequently. This will make your actions more focused on your goals and increase the likelihood of their success.
Goals must be balanced in all areas of life
All areas of life influence and promote each other
balance wheel
Which areas have lower scores? what is the reason?
How have these areas impacted other areas?
If you increase them by 1 point, what impact will it have on other areas?
If I increase my score by 1 point, what goals can I set in each of these areas? What kind of action should be taken?
In each stage, you should have a main goal, rather than completing all goals at the same time
Do this exercise every three months to balance your goals in all areas of your life
Goals must be challenging
The purpose is to challenge the comfort zone and stimulate potential and creativity
Stretch Goal
A height that requires some effort to reach
You can set a goal that you are 50% sure of completing.
30%, 40% possibility of achieving the goal
high quality goals
Questions to think about
Your dreams, hopes, passions, and purpose for living
Goals should reflect who you are, what kind of life you want to live, and what you want to bring to the world.
a premise
Goals aligned with core values
values
People's inner needs that have been reconciled by external standards are both generally accepted by society and something that people need internally. They are usually positive and can be told to others.
significance
Goals that are consistent with our core values will increase our self-esteem, increase our life satisfaction, and allow us to perform at our best and therefore be more likely to succeed.
Three Steps to Setting Goals Aligned with Core Values
Find your core values
ask yourself
First, what kind of things are meaningful to me?
Second, when was the last time I felt happy and content? What happened?
Third, at the last moment of my life, what kind of person do I want to be?
Fourth, how do I want my descendants to evaluate me?
Fifth, what do I want to leave to the world?
How to identify
When choosing, please pay attention to choosing those you "want" rather than what you "should".
Ask yourself a question: Which of these two things can I live without?
Adjust goal priority
Compare existing goals with core values and adjust goal priorities
Set goals that satisfy core values
Review the core values list, look for core values that are not being met, and set corresponding goals to meet them
three key points
Goals must meet SMART principles
S, specific
Specific and clear goals
M, measurable
Quantifiable evaluation criteria
A, it is possible to achieve
Goals should be challenging, but not unrealistic
R, associated with other goals
Goals are related to your other goals, not in isolation
T, time-limited
A clear deadline will increase your sense of urgency, thereby increasing your ability to take action
Write down your SMART goals and look at them frequently. This will make your actions more focused on your goals and increase the likelihood of their success.
Goals must be balanced in all areas of life
All areas of life influence and promote each other
balance wheel
Which areas have lower scores? what is the reason?
How have these areas impacted other areas?
If you increase them by 1 point, what impact will it have on other areas?
If I increase my score by 1 point, what goals can I set in each of these areas? What kind of action should be taken?
In each stage, you should have a main goal, rather than completing all goals at the same time
Do this exercise every three months to balance your goals in all areas of your life
Goals must be challenging
The purpose is to challenge the comfort zone and stimulate potential and creativity
Stretch Goal
A height that requires some effort to reach
You can set a goal that you are 50% sure of completing.
30%, 40% possibility of achieving the goal
Develop scientific and reasonable strategies
Thinking about the problem
where am i now
See your starting point in reality clearly
How do I get where I want to go?
Customize your own plan to reach your goals
See your starting point in reality clearly
Have an objective and clear understanding of yourself
self-observation
By continuously observing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a specific environment and recording them, you can see your usual patterns and make changes.
Statistics log
Record the frequency and duration of a behavior you want to change, accurately evaluate and analyze your behavior, and make wise strategies.
ABC Log
A is Antecedents, the premise that causes something to happen
B is behaviors, behavior
C stands for Consequences, consequences
The events after the behavior can be your next behavior, or the thoughts and feelings you have after the behavior.
Make a plan that will definitely come true
The essence of the plan
The process of achieving goals is the process of getting what we want through action
A plan is a series of new behaviors that are different from the past. By reasonably arranging and adjusting these new behaviors, we let them lead us step by step to achieve our goals.
ABC ideas for planning
A. Prerequisite for changing original behavior
B. Replace the original behavior with new behavior
Incompatible behavior
When I do this thing, I can't do another thing
C. Use reinforcement techniques to reinforce new behaviors
Reinforcement means that after you do something, you will get a result that you like very much
Consciously set rewards for yourself after taking actions to make your actions more motivational
Four important principles to ensure plan completion
Plans must be implemented realistically
The goal should be challenging and can be set higher, but the plan should be arranged according to your own reality.
small and simple
Small and simple plans allow us to focus more clearly on our goals without putting too much pressure on ourselves to give up midway.
Think in advance about possible obstacles and have a plan to deal with them
Record the completion of the plan
Remember what your plan is
see your own progress
Record feedback
Adjust the plan at any time based on feedback
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, you no longer need willpower to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, you no longer need willpower to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after achieving your goals.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, willpower is no longer needed to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, willpower is no longer needed to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, willpower is no longer needed to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.
Difference in power and resistance
Increase motivation
Sign a contract with yourself to increase your goal commitment
Think of achieving your goals as a project and sign a project "contract" with yourself
The higher a person's commitment to a goal, the more likely he or she is to accomplish it
benefit
The contract will let you know how important this goal is to you
Contracts reinforce your expectation of success in your goals
A contract is a form of self-restraint
The more attractive a goal is to you and the more you expect it to succeed, the higher your commitment to it will be.
"Seven-step method" to sign a contract
Write your SMART goals in the contract
Write down the importance of goals while embodying core values
Make this goal more attractive to you
Target breakdown
Break the goal into several small goals and write them in the contract
Write down the plan you need to execute to achieve your goals
Write down the reward system
Write down your past success experiences
solemn commitment
Finally, print out the contract, sign it, and post it on the wall where you can see it every day.
Accelerate with self-care goals
Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend
Keep a self-care journal
presence
First, allow all thoughts and feelings to come to you in this moment without any judgment or resistance.
connected
We need to realize that everyone in the world is experiencing frustration and pain, not just me.
loving
Think of yourself as a good friend and write warm and kind words to yourself in a caring tone.
body touch
Find a body position that makes you feel safe and supported so you can use this position to comfort yourself when you feel stressed
Say kind words to yourself
Find some words that can make you feel safe, warm, and supported, and say them to yourself in your heart every day. You can also say them to yourself in front of the mirror.
Focus on one question: What do I need? Then find the words that suit you based on your deepest needs
"Want" comes from "above the neck", that is, the desire of the brain
"Need" comes from "below the neck" and is the universal inner need of human beings.
Try to find out in your daily life when you are feeling depressed
What do you want others to say to you? What words warm and comfort you, calm you down or cheer you up?
Convert these words into the tone you speak to yourself, prepare a notepad, and record these words to form a "kind words library" for you to call at any time.
Design interesting and effective self-reward mechanisms
Enhance technology
When we perform a behavior and receive positive reinforcement, we will feel pleasure from the reward and will be more likely to do the behavior next time.
With continued positive reinforcement, this behavior will gradually stabilize and become our natural and spontaneous behavior.
psychological mechanism
Timely and continuous rewards will cause the brain to secrete dopamine and experience a feeling of happiness
People prefer smaller, earlier rewards to larger, later rewards
The nature of self-reward
Connecting to a better but delayed future through reinforcing new patterns of behavior
step
Make a self-reward list
Make a list of things and activities that make you feel happy, satisfied, and enjoyable, as if it were a gift list for yourself.
Visible rewards
thing
electronic product
sport equipment
figure
Dating
chat
Activity
Movie
game
implicit reward
imagine reward
Make yourself feel happy by imagining the beautiful scenes after your goals are achieved.
Such rewards are related to your later and larger goals. Often imagining rewards for yourself will not only be beneficial to your current behavior, but also remind and strengthen your long-term goals and make you more focused. to your own goals.
verbal reward
When you perform a behavior that meets your goals, praise yourself verbally, quietly or loudly, but you must make it clear that you say it to yourself every time you perform the desired behavior.
If we often receive praise and encouragement from ourselves, we will be more willing to do the things we expect.
Match behavior with reward
interdependence
After a behavior occurs, the corresponding reward will definitely occur, and it must be within a relatively short period of time.
Token system
Suitable for rewards that cannot occur immediately
Assign corresponding points to expected behaviors, and you can get rewards when you accumulate a certain number of points.
The essential
Develop the habit of recording every day
Reduce resistance
perfectionism
Powerful invisible killer
Promote destructive thoughts and emotions
Features
First, they believe that the path of life should be a straight line
Second, they are afraid of failure because failure means they are not good enough
Third, they are very hard on themselves
Fourth, they only focus on “results” rather than enjoying the process
ABCDE method How to eliminate the "invisible killer"
A is Adversity, "difficulty"
Undesirable objective facts
B is Belief, belief
Beliefs and opinions that arise after an objective fact occurs
C is Consequence, result
The behavioral consequences of the belief
D stands for Disputation, refutation
Re-examine whether B’s view is correct, and is there any other angle to look at this matter?
E is Energization, stimulate
New actions inspired by new perspectives
Failure occurred during the process
Face the choice of failure
give up immediately
fixed mindset
Believe that human intelligence is fixed
People with this kind of thinking will have a desire to appear smart. This desire makes them tend to avoid challenges. When encountering obstacles, they often choose to protect themselves or give up easily.
move on
growth mindset
Believe that intelligence can be improved
A person with this kind of thinking will have a desire to learn, so he will be willing to meet challenges and persevere in the face of setbacks and failures. He believes that practice makes perfect, so he is willing to keep working hard.
Create a growth mindset
“What did I learn from this?”
“What do I see in myself that I can improve on?”
“What adjustments can I make next?”
method
Observe what your fixed mindset is saying when you fail
Talk to your fixed mindset.
List a specific adjustment plan, put it in your big plan about this goal, and then act according to the plan.
If there is no actual behavior, there will be no real growth, and it is likely that the so-called growth mindset is also false.
Lack of willpower
Three forces of willpower
I do not want
I want to do it
I want
method
Use exercise to improve willpower reserves
Willpower is like deposits in a bank, the more we reserve, the more we have available for use.
Low-intensity and continuous exercise has a more obvious effect on improving willpower than high-intensity but short-term exercise.
Train three strengths
"I don't want" ability
"I don't want" things
"I want to do it" ability
"I want to do" things
The power of "I want"
The first is to spend two minutes every day to picture in your mind the scene after the goal is achieved, and always remember your goal.
The second is not to act immediately when faced with temptation, but to wait for 10 minutes. During these 10 minutes, tell yourself what you really want and let the prefrontal cortex start working.
Write a letter to your future self
Create a connection between your present self and your future self
future self continuity
People whose "present self" and "future self" circles overlap more will have more savings, less credit card debt, and will be more prosperous in the future.
content of email
Think about what your future self will be doing, and how will he view the choices he makes now?
Describe to your future self what you would do. Is this what he wants?
What are your hopes for your future self? What do you think you will become?
Imagine your future self looking back at your present self. What would you be grateful for for what you have done now?
Writing an email like this every month will help you resist immediate gratification and choose actions that are more conducive to your long-term goals.
a
time
invalid time
Time for unimportant things that have nothing to do with your life goals, don’t allow you to learn and grow, and don’t nourish you.
Effective time
A time for important things that help you achieve your life goals, allow you to learn and grow, and nourish you.
Work, study, read, exercise, manage money, meditate, and rest efficiently
Twenty-Eight Method (Pareto Principle)
Only 20% of factors have a major effect
method
Record time logs to reduce invalid time
The first step is to record a time log and record the start and end time of everything you do for three consecutive days.
The second step is to analyze the time log and calculate the invalid time and valid time each day.
The third step is to convert part of the invalid time into valid time.
There is a limit to a person's self-control. If it exceeds a certain limit, he will lose control.
Increase the priority of important non-urgent matters
time
hard time
The time it takes to plan what must be done
soft time
free time
Solution
Create a "quick list" folder in your notes. List the 5 most important things on the quick list every day. Only do these 5 things in a day. If something more important appears, it must be listed in the original list. Delete an item from the list. Among these 5 things, at least one must be related to your recent goals.
"Weeding" is specially used to deal with urgent and unimportant things
"Grass" does not need to be removed immediately. You can put them in the grass collector first and then use dedicated time to process them in batches.
"Time Box Method"
mean
In a time period, there is a clear start time and end time, and there are clear and specific behaviors. Such a time period is a time box.
be careful
The time must be fixed and cannot be changed at will
When you do a fixed thing at a fixed time every day, a rhythm will be formed in about two weeks. At that time, you no longer need willpower to control yourself, but it becomes a habit and a natural thing.
The time box is sacrosanct
Do that task wholeheartedly, and if you find yourself distracted, bring your attention back immediately.
effect
Let us forcefully leave a space in our busy lives and devote ourselves fully to doing things that can help us achieve important goals.