MindMap Gallery Raising Boys [Steve Biddulph] 2019.12
"Raising Boys" is a popular must-have parenting book for families today. It is also a book that husbands will quietly steal from their wives. It is simple, direct and easy to read. This book reveals for parents all of the most critical issues boys face as they transition from child to man.
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This is a mind map about bacteria, and its main contents include: overview, morphology, types, structure, reproduction, distribution, application, and expansion. The summary is comprehensive and meticulous, suitable as review materials.
This is a mind map about plant asexual reproduction, and its main contents include: concept, spore reproduction, vegetative reproduction, tissue culture, and buds. The summary is comprehensive and meticulous, suitable as review materials.
This is a mind map about the reproductive development of animals, and its main contents include: insects, frogs, birds, sexual reproduction, and asexual reproduction. The summary is comprehensive and meticulous, suitable as review materials.
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raising boys [Steve Biddulph] 2019.12
Chapter 1 This is the boy
The girls would play together and be very happy; the boys would just run around like the Indians running around the buffalo. They deliberately made the girl angry and started fighting with their companions. Whenever possible, boys should stay at home and be cared for by their father or mother until they are 3 years old.
Chapter 2 Three Stages of a Boy’s Growth
The first stage: from birth to 6 years old - boys of this age belong to their mothers. It is the parents' task to let their children grow up safely surrounded by love, making this stage a warm stop in the boy's growth process.
The second stage: from 6 to 13 years old - at this stage, the boy feels the call from the inner world and begins to try to become a man. At this time, the boy becomes more and more like his father in his interests and preferred activities. At this stage, the main task of parents is to let their children develop good character in the process of laughing and playing, at the same time cultivate their children's sense of competition, and teach them skills in this area so that they can become a comprehensively developed person. At this stage, the boy is happy that he can become a man.
5 things that fathers must do: 1. "Touch" the child in advance; 2. Make time to accompany the child; 3. Get close to the child (but before he becomes an adult, you can hug him, tease him, play with him, and say more words of encouragement ); 4. Lower your requirements (don’t ask your children to do their best, as this will put pressure on the child, but be sure to let him participate in housework activities. In addition, the father should also make time to walk, play games, and even talk with his children. , slowly teach him everything you know); 5. Share the work of taking care of the children with your wife.
The third stage: from 13 to adulthood - at this stage, if a boy completes the transition from childishness to maturity, he needs the guidance of a mature man. At this time, parents no longer play a dominant role in the boy's life, but they must choose good guides for their sons, otherwise the sons will find themselves on a mountain of equally ignorant peers. At this stage, boys have more and more opportunities to participate in adult club activities. These activities will help them learn communication skills with others and help them become responsible, self-respecting and self-loving people.
Chapter 3 Testosterone
Testosterone will cause major changes in boys: at 4 years old - boys start to become naughty and active; at 13 years old - boys enter a period of rapid growth and lack goals; at 14 years old - when they encounter the first test in their life, they start to Entering the early stages of adulthood.
Chapter 4 Differences in brain structure between boys and girls
We need to: 1. Let them feel the love of their parents and try not to separate them. For example, do not send them to daycare before they are 3 years old. 2. Teach them to do things in an orderly manner, such as tidying up their rooms, doing housework, and participating in activities organized by the school. 3. Ensure that they have sufficient time and space to exercise. 4. Read to them, tell them stories, talk to them more often, and explain things to you. This is particularly important during the period from 1 to 8 years old. 5. Chat with them as friends and talk about ways to solve problems, how to make choices, and what they can do in their living environment. 6. Create a quiet and orderly environment for them at home and at school. Schools should put an end to intimidation and other negative phenomena.
Chapter 5 What should a father do?
1. Take time out to be a good father. In modern society, men are nothing more than work machines. Therefore, we must strive to be a real father and a good father to our children.
2. Take the initiative to spend time with your children - chat with them, play games, do crafts, and go traveling together. Take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with your children.
3. Sometimes attention deficit disorder (ADD) is father deficit disorder (DDD).
4. Follow the rules with your wife. Usually a son listens to you not because he is psychologically afraid of you, but because he respects you and wants to win your favor. Don't hit or scare your child, as this will only make him harsher on others.
5. Boys imitate their fathers. He will imitate the way you treat his mother, so be sure to treat your wife with respect. He will adopt your attitude. Furthermore, he will know how to reveal his inner feelings only if you reveal your feelings.
6. Most boys like to play rough. Fathers can play with their children for fun and to teach them self-control. But be sure to set some rules beforehand to prevent things from getting out of hand.
7. Teach your son to respect women and yourself.
Chapter 6 Mother and Son
1. Boys learn love from their mothers, so they must feel your warmth and kindness.
2. Tell your son something about girls and teach him how to get along better with girls.
3. Praise your son for being handsome, tell him how much you like him, and let him know that you are willing to chat with him. Only in this way will he be confident in himself.
4. As the children grow, constantly adjust the education methods, and at the same time pay close attention to the children's safety and all-round development. When your child reaches a teenager, you must give him a relaxed environment, but you must not know anything about his world, his preferences, or the ups and downs of his heart.
5. When he is an adult, let him learn from his actions or inactions, such as being late for school because of deliberate dilly-dallying. At this time, it is time for him to learn to take responsibility.
6. When your child is still young, encourage him to learn to cook (including doing housework), and then enjoy the fruits of his labor together.
Doing housework helps boys grow up
1. Help them prepare for independent living;
2. It is helpful to gain self-esteem; (doing something practical and useful is something to be proud of)
3. It will help you get the opportunity to get closer to your children.
7. Special attention: Do not have violent conflicts with adolescent children, especially those who are single mothers. When you encounter a problem, be sure to talk to your child about the issue that caused the dispute calmly and rationally.
8. If you are the kind of mother who is super capable, then you must be careful not to affect the relationship between your husband and your son, let alone complete the work of taking care of your son on your husband's behalf. Both you and your son need his participation. At the same time, you must encourage your son to get closer to his father to establish a closer father-son relationship.
Chapter 7 Cultivating a Healthy Sex
1. Teach children to distinguish the differences between like, love and lust.
2. When the child is 10 years old, hold a small ceremony to celebrate his growth and tell him some knowledge about sex.
3. Educate your child to respect all people and keep him away from unhealthy sexual behaviors. Help him create an atmosphere and hold some activities so that he can interact with girls normally.
4. Remember, boys also want love from others, not just sex.
5. Help them keep their bodies active, such as letting them learn dancing, music, and massage.
6. True love is learned through acceptance - starting in infancy. The true understanding of human nature is learned at the age of 3.
7. Masturbation is not only harmless, but also beneficial.
8. Do not encourage children to read erotic books and periodicals, and discuss this topic with them in a timely manner. Don't shame your child for being interested in erotica, but tell him what kind of erotica is healthy - respectful, enjoyable, and related to love. You can help him find some such books.
9. Mothers can tell their sons what kind of boys girls like to associate with - kind, communicative, and with a sense of humor.
Chapter 8 School Education Reform
Schools can also become a paradise for boys if they do the following things well when managing their students.
1. Allow boys to enter school one year later than girls, and then allow children to go to school when their fine motor skills have developed enough to write normally. (Girls develop skills in this area relatively quickly)
2. Let men (mature young people) participate in teaching, and at the same time select suitable men from outside the school to provide one-on-one guidance and help to the children.
3. Redesign teaching methods to make the teaching process more dynamic, specific and challenging.
4. Targeting boys’ weaknesses (especially boys’ reading and writing skills), specially design intensive language courses for boys, preferably starting from first grade. (At the middle school level, English classes are taught in separate classes.)
5. Through group teaching, teachers can establish good interpersonal relationships with boys. At the middle school stage, attention should be paid to reducing changes in teachers to satisfy boys' desire for fatherly love and guidance from mentors.
6. Pay attention to your child’s problematic behavior, as this may be a sign of learning difficulties. Once discovered, understand it as early as possible and take appropriate measures.
Chapter 9 Boys and Sports
It is the nature of teenagers to worship their idols without analysis. If the man is a great basketball player, boys will imitate not only his sportsmanship but also his character, attitude, lifestyle and the jokes he makes.
1. Exercise is of great benefit to children. It exposes children to exercise, gives them fun, challenge and a sense of achievement, and especially provides a shared sense of fun for fathers and sons, boys and men.
2. Sports are the best way to shape character, experience life and cultivate men.
3. Some sports cultures have negative effects, such as aggression, selfishness, sexual abuse and alcoholism. The mentality of "win at all costs" replaces sportsmanship and the joy of the game.
4. When competing and winning become so important, being very good is dangerous because your life is out of balance. Overly competitive sports often lead to lifelong injuries.
5. Overemphasis on competition will exclude those children who are not good enough. Studies show that this practice is causing more and more children to stop playing sports.
6. Sports must be accessible, safe, accessible and fun for everyone. Boys need exercise. We cannot allow commercial forces or immature guidance to destroy the very essence of the movement.
Chapter 10 Social Challenges
When boys reach a certain age, their horizons extend beyond the family. Around the age of 15, they have already begun to move towards the future - but they must have goals and have someone to support and guide them. This means building social networks to help children.
If there are some such networks around parents, with trustworthy adults, whether individually or in organized groups, we can hand over our children to them and let them find self-worth and a sense of belonging.