Follow the guidance of your inner emotions

Find your true “inner voice”

A objective event

B view cognition

C emotional results

Time, place/scene, event/reason, character, emotion, score (degree of positive/negative emotion)

Positive/negative emotions are connected separately

Not verified

Easy to become reality: projective identification

own psychological characteristics

relationship model

I know it’s a hypothesis, so don’t worry about it and wait patiently for the results.

condition

Seek verification truly and objectively so that the truth can be revealed faster

Condition: opposite to above

Lack of love: longing for care and recognition

Being bullied: beating, scolding, punishment, deprivation of will

Take initiative rather than compromise

When the emotion button is touched

Try to bear without avoiding

Take a deep breath and feel the emotion

What is the pain behind feeling the emotion?

Rewriting memories: Re-experiencing and assessing the degree of pain

Challenge yourself

step by step

Communicate in advance

keep practicing

Judging solely by personal values: biased

Ignoring other important aspects: such as the other party’s feelings and needs, etc.

Before love is correct, don’t artificially bind the other person (allowed)

Inward attack: feeling wronged

Attack outward: feel angry

Feeling Yourself: The Real Cause of Pain

Feeling the Other: Inner Feelings and Needs

Ask yourself: Is this true?

Use descriptive words carefully and accurately

Describe the cause of the feeling

Know your feelings, needs, and thoughts

Don't bring the concept of "emotions and anger cannot be expressed in color" into love

Don’t think that “if you love me, you should understand me” and let the other person guess.

Since the other person loves you, he will be willing to help you

Temporarily suppressing and forbearing will not solve the problem

Only describe "objective facts and my feelings"

Tell the other person that you like this, and the other person will be happy to repeat the action

NOTE: Some people deny negative emotions

The other person’s negative emotions will arouse your inner pain

Focusing on myself and being unable to empathize

Say it wrong: It feels like you are denying the other person

You’re right: I feel like showing off can reveal someone’s thoughts

Get it right: Feelings focus on whether the guess is correct rather than how it feels

Satisfy the other person’s need for venting

Make them feel noticed and accepted

If you really don’t want to talk about it, don’t force it.

Guide the other party to fully describe the situation

Listen carefully and do not interrupt or comment

To prevent understanding is wrong

Shows true understanding

The closer the relationship, the more so

Look at people and things calmly and objectively

Don’t always blame external people and things

Understand others’ starting points and needs

Face up to the objective development laws of things

Come out of your current emotions

Inspire through questioning and discussion

Do not make random comments or give direct suggestions

Don’t impose your will on others

Don’t force yourself to think, take care of the other person’s emotions

By describing your feelings before, let them acknowledge that you fully understand them.

Determine ways to mitigate

If you really can't bear it, allow yourself not to allow it

Try to allow when something happens

Reviewing past attempts allows

The ability to allow will continue to grow stronger

Things that cannot be changed in nature such as birth, old age, illness, and death

Permission will not lead to indulgence, but it will make you let go and better face the future.

Different genders, environments, and experiences lead to different personalities, habits, and ideas.

In most cases, there is no absolute right or wrong in differences

Allow them not to have the corresponding capabilities

Allow it to slowly change and grow

Do not deny when the other party makes a mistake, but only affirm the good behavior

If they are already blaming themselves, stop blaming the other person.

Everything you want: progress, dedication, compromise

Reward what the other party hopes/is happy to receive: words, objects, behaviors

Meet the other person’s expectations: Otherwise, they will give up due to lack of motivation.

Example: "The sun is coming out in the west?" It dampens the enthusiasm of the opponent.

Blindly affirming, or even affirming without principle, it is easy to be proud and complacent

Don’t demotivate the other party when you fail

Otherwise, it will deprive the other party of the opportunity to exercise and grow.

Allow mistakes and let go of the anxiety of being a teacher