Why do you hate yourself?
The reason why you only see the shortcomings is because you have made up your mind not to like yourself. In order to achieve the goal of not liking yourself, you only look at the shortcomings and not the advantages. --Not confident
Why do we only focus on our shortcomings and refuse to like ourselves? Because you are too afraid of being disliked by others and afraid of being hurt in relationships
Method: First accept "your current self". No matter what the result is, you must first establish the courage to move forward. --encourage
All worries are worries about interpersonal relationships
If there is no one else but yourself in this universe, then all worries will disappear
You hate yourself because you are too afraid of interpersonal relationships. You are avoiding interpersonal relationships through self-loathing.
The feeling of inferiority comes from subjective fabrication
The inferiority complex that troubles us is not an "objective fact" but a "subjective explanation"
We cannot change objective facts, but we can change subjective interpretations and decisions at will
Inferiority complex is just an excuse
If you are unable to achieve your ideals, you will have a sense of inferiority.
Whether it is the pursuit of excellence or a feeling of inferiority, they are not pathological symptoms. As long as they are handled properly, they can also become a catalyst for hard work and growth.
We should abandon our sense of inferiority and move forward; we should not be satisfied with the status quo and make continuous progress; we should be happier.
Inferiority complex refers to the state of using one's own inferiority complex as an excuse. Because there is A, I can’t do B
The law of external causation: interpreting things that originally have no causal relationship as if they have a significant causal relationship
If you think "I can't succeed because of my low academic qualifications", then it's not "can't succeed" but "I don't want to succeed."
Afraid of moving forward or unwilling to really work hard, unwilling to sacrifice the fun currently enjoyed in order to change oneself, that is, unable to have the "courage" to change one's lifestyle. Even if there is some dissatisfaction or lack of freedom, one is still more willing to maintain it status quo
The more conceited a person is, the inferior he or she is
superiority complex
As long as I don't have A, I will still be a capable and valuable person, unable to accept my "incompetent self", acting as if I am excellent, and then immersed in a false sense of superiority.
If someone is arrogant, it must be because he has an inferiority complex. If he truly has self-confidence, he will not be arrogant. It is precisely because of a strong sense of inferiority that one becomes arrogant, which is actually a deliberate attempt to show off that one is excellent. I worry that if I don’t do that, I won’t be recognized by those around me.
boast about misfortune
They want to use misfortune to show that they are "special", they want to use their misfortune to suppress others, and use their misfortune as a weapon to dominate others.
Life is not a competition with others
There are people walking in front and people walking behind on the same plane
The so-called "pursuit of superiority" means that one is constantly moving forward, rather than being superior to others.
Don’t let anyone compete, just keep moving forward.
A healthy sense of inferiority does not come from comparison with others, but from comparison with the "ideal self"
We should view our differences with others positively, but we are "different but equal"
The value lies in constantly surpassing oneself
The only one who cares about your appearance is yourself
If there is "competition" in interpersonal relationships, it is impossible for people to get rid of the troubles caused by interpersonal relationships, and it is impossible to get rid of misfortunes
Unknowingly, you will see other people and even the entire world as "the enemy"
Seeing other people's happiness as "my failure" and therefore unable to give blessings
Once you are liberated from the cycle of competition, you no longer need to defeat anyone, and you can get rid of the fear of "maybe losing" and become able to sincerely bless the happiness of others and make positive contributions to the happiness of others. contribute. When someone is in trouble and you are always willing to lend a helping hand, then he or she becomes a partner to you.
If you can realize that "everyone is my partner", you will have a completely different view of the world.
"Power Struggle" and Revenge in Interpersonal Relationships
What kind of value is given to the past? This is the issue faced by "you now"
private and public outrage
Private anger (personal anger), where the expression of anger is merely a tool to bring others into submission, quickly cools down,
The purpose behind the behavior: the struggle for power
The defeated opponent will move to the next stage: the "Revenge" stage.
Once you are convinced that "I am right" in a relationship, you have entered into a power struggle.
The right or wrong of the original proposition has nothing to do with victory or defeat. But many people get caught up in power struggles, trying to bring the other person to heel.
No matter how right you think you are, don't use it as a reason to blame the other person. This is a interpersonal glove that many people easily fall into.
Never be fooled when provoked by a struggle for power
Public outrage (anger at social contradictions or injustices) can last for a long time
Admitting your mistakes does not mean you have failed
When encountering a personality attack, do not react in any way to the other person’s behavior
Don’t rely on anger as a tool
With language, you can communicate through language,
Admitting mistakes, apologizing, and withdrawing from power struggles are not "failures."
The pursuit of superiority is not accomplished through competition with others
If you can only see the victory or defeat in front of you, you will go down the wrong path. Only by taking off the glasses of competition or victory or defeat can we change and improve ourselves.
Three major topics in life
"I am capable" and "Everyone is my partner"
Behavioral goals include "self-reliance" and "harmony with society"
life lessons
When an individual wants to survive as a social being, he will encounter interpersonal relationships that he has to face.
Friendship topics
The number of friends or acquaintances has no value, it is the distance and depth of the relationship that should be considered
Work topic
interpersonal relationships at work
The subject of love
Only when people can feel that "you can be unrestrained with this person" can you experience love. There is no need to feel inferior or show off superiority, and can maintain a calm and natural state. Real love should be like this.
Love relationship, parent-child relationship
The most undesirable thing is to stop moving forward in "this" state
"The lie of life" teaches us how to escape
Adler called this attempt to create excuses to avoid life's issues "life lies."
It is not anyone else who determines your lifestyle (state of life), but yourself
Adlerian Psychology is the "Psychology of Courage"
It’s not about what is given, but how to use what is given
We use our income to choose our own life and lifestyle
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